Thoughts on Success and Failure

I've been so sad that I couldn't make feel better. I felt isolated and unsupported and generally depressed. So much so that nothing good that happened was good enough and everything bad that happened, devastated me. It was one thing after another. I'm glad I went through that because now I know how to appreciate how important it is to have faith and some level of confidence to get you through hard times. I'm really unlucky with matters of the heart. There was a point when I would've said there is no love for me but I'm over that kind of drama. I'm sure it exists I just have to wait until it comes. I've failed in a lot of things this passed year, but I haven't wiped out yet.. I'm still keeping it moving and that's a blessing. Its the refocusing thats the hard part. Getting passed all the dreams and ideas that were attached to those things that I failed at, getting passed the part of me that feels like I don't have enough of something, continuing on to the next thing despite the fact that I could very well fail yet again. Those are all thoughts running through my brain. But at these times I am finding that focusing on the things that I'm good at, diving into that, and focusing on the milestones I have achieved is important. But not just boosting myself up, I have to also face my failures head on, look at them and try to get as much as I can from them, learn from them, understand what happened it them. I also want to make sure that I'm not just wallowing in self pitty... It's a fine balance as is always the challenge of life.

A hard question...

So, if you try to kill me but you are lucky and I don't die, should you be tried for murder? Or should you be tried for attempted murder and given a lesser sentence because I accidentally didn't die. Is it my life that's worth your sentence, or is it your crime that's worth the sentence? Or is it both? Should a dead me be worth more than a live me even if I'm say... paralyzed? What do you think? Perhaps you were having a bad day and only tried to kill me out of frustration with the cards life had dealt has dealt you and so me not dying is a sign from some higher being that you are not in fact, that bad. So the fact that I didn't die should result in lesser punishment because you didn't reaaaaaaallly mean to kill me. Hmmm